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Post by Neverwinter on Nov 20, 2013 22:13:19 GMT
I see where you are going wrong............getting the turkey in Sainsburys...........should have gone to Morrisons!
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Post by Raven on Nov 21, 2013 21:11:18 GMT
Well well well well well! We here at the Ravens call sincerely hope Oceans back stop has had a pay rise this week! With Raven having more shots on target and less shots off target than their opposition today its unlucky that Oceans got the crucial extra goal. Jake marsten got caught in the act of "defence" it would seem which will really hurt the team next week. We have had words from the Raven manager after the match and here is a snippet of the interview:
Reporter:"so how do you feel after the match?" Raven Manager:"I feel disappointed that although wewere clearly the better team outhere today, we came away with a loss. I'm sure Oceans are glad they have the defence they do. We have proved here today that Raven can now compete with the best. The lads have responded well to my new regimes and if I could feel proud I would be doing so now. I hope the fastball world sits up and takes note from here on in, having been called the viper reserve team, and worse, it just goes to show that teaching the players a little more than just how to through a ball is critical these days. Coronado never got the attention he needed but now I know for a fact we will be inundated with bids for him. Let me tell you fastball, our players are not for sale unless I say so. And please go to sleep tonight with one thing on your mind. This is Raven
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Post by Raven on Nov 26, 2013 16:23:18 GMT
A quiet week so far at the roost. The players have been relaxing in time for the match on thursday. By relaxing we mean cleaning. Butthe managers tactics are starting to seep through to the team and results will follow soon we think. We are wondering how Tartist will cope against the Relentless Ravens this week, can they handle an aggressive game? John Hussey joins the main squad this week ready for his championship debut having never played a league game for bulldogs and rescued from the depths of unplayed talent. I understand the grammer mistake in that bulldogs should have a capital letter at the start but we don't feel they deserve one. Ps have you ever seen a bull dog jump? They need an awful long run up, I'm not sure the pitch is long enough. Anyway I digress, fans should queue up early this week as we expect the Roost to be filling up week on week now the new manager is well and truely here! What will thursday bring? High scores like last week maybe, but will Ravens cope without Jake Marston!? We welcome columns from other fastball managers, and extra help is available for those whos writing isn't what it could be. (Viper)
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Post by Viper on Nov 27, 2013 16:27:16 GMT
Prick...... spelt that right!
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Post by Raven on Nov 27, 2013 22:42:53 GMT
This isn't what we had in mind when we asked fastball managers to write in but maybe it is what we should have expected! Its nice to correspond with other managers whatever level they are on don't you think.
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Post by Raven on Nov 28, 2013 22:49:36 GMT
Well congratulations have to go to Tartist this week for pulling off an unlikely win. Another close match proves Raven are going in the right direction. But a shake up in fastball could see the team dropping to division one next season if things stay the same. So the team will continue to be whipped into shape (no jamie!). Also a huge congratulations to John Hussey for equalising Coronado's shot count today. In his first game ever he has already proven his worth. Money well spent. Unfortunately we are still having to work with Itrea. His mistreatment at Viper means he still lets a little bit of wee out when he sees the opposition running towards him. Its a great shame that so many players get left alone with no proper care. No physio or coaching sessions. No one to tell them they are needed. Placed on the long bench to loan world. If you have a heart for these players and can spare £12 a month, these lives could be saved. But it will take you to act. Just £12 a month can mean a trip to the training ground or even a nutrigrain bar. Ring 0800stopthewee today. I digress, it would appear these adverts are slipping in everywhere (NO JAMIE!) Watch this space. Keep an eye on the wings and keep an eye on the ravens call.
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Post by Raven on Dec 4, 2013 9:36:34 GMT
So the Fastball christmas party is fast approaching and the teams are all preparing for their matches this week. Maybe we will find out why some teams are running scared of the challenge cup!? Raven are due to enter this time round and look forward to the opportunity sending thanks to those involved at getting them in. On another note, managing Raven is proving to be a hard job. I had to wait a good 10 minutes this morning for my coffee. I feel a new tea lady may need appointing. Maybe 34 is bit old for that job? We hope in the second half of the season to aquire some new right and left stops and to climb to within the top 16. Our team are training hard and their aggression is being encouraged. We aim to be one of the teams fighting for the top within a season and a half. With wolf dreshner out this week Rhinos can be a little more relaxed. We are frightened on thier behalf however for the result of the game. We may hurt a few players and they wouldn't have a squad left. Maybe we could set up a charity? Where disused players can arrive at the rhinos to help them out a little. On another note, I'm new here, has anyone done the one about Rhinos having the horn yet?
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Post by Phoenix Firebirds on Dec 4, 2013 21:28:10 GMT
A famous line from Dudley Moore "The horn the horn the might horn i just live and die for the horn" god rest his soul.
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Post by Raven on Dec 5, 2013 19:11:15 GMT
Wake up Raven fans! Our time has come! The first win for the new manager has not come too soon. Losing Itrea will hurt next week and although winning to a team barely managed isnt the biggest win ever it has shown that they key players are working well. If you havnt already done the math for next week, viper have sacko, flynt, bowsham, rift and kanway out for next win. Raven has Itrea out. They also have Coronado, Hussy and Latham improved this week and have seen Coronado back in the best performing table today. Next week will be interesting against Viper who have vowed not to lose against Raven again. Can the roost see another win against Viper? Can Itrea ever be freed from his incontinence? Are Viper copying Rhinos squad policy!? Watch this space fastball fans. And keep one eye on the Ravens call.
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Post by Raven on Dec 5, 2013 19:15:45 GMT
We also take this opportunity to welcome Thomson Kane to our squad. Lets see if yet again the manager has grabbed a top player for bottom money. The manager will be talking to the other fastball gaffers this week in his first appearance with the group on saturday. I wonder what will come of that.
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Post by Viper on Dec 5, 2013 19:16:28 GMT
You missed last season, Viper was the most aggressive in the league and racked up the most DP's out of anyone.... it was tough getting a team come the end! I think it was nearly 300+ lol. Yes... Those players are out for that game, BUT just look at the rest of my team.... we will not make it easy for you at all... mark my words!
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Post by Raven on Dec 5, 2013 20:14:07 GMT
Easier than Jamie Wolf with a tube of valium
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Post by Raven on Dec 5, 2013 20:14:37 GMT
Tone..........lowered
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Post by Raven on Dec 12, 2013 21:42:46 GMT
So, Raven fans, we still can't seem to break Viper down. But despite the brave face of their manager we all know how close they have come in this weeks matches to being trodden on by our boys. I am afraid I can announce the Dreshner will be suspended for two weeks following his on pitch outburst today, of which although we cannot condone his actions we can secretly agree with everything he said to Tracey. We thought his puns on "Dickson" showed great comic prowess and intellect. But we don't condone his actions and he will be punished. We cannot tell you how as we don't know her name yet. So as the team take stock and Leo recieves the cat and nine for not appearing on the best performers list this week, we can but look towards next weeks game. Clench your..........fists Raven fans, its gonna be a choppy ride.
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Post by Raven on Dec 17, 2013 7:21:28 GMT
Ok, so here's a question for you. Whats the longest hair in your body? Anyone know? Ask Itrea! He knows it's the bum hair because when you pull it your eyes water. As Oceans found out yesterday! Unfortunately this kind of action did lead to some discipline issues. It was good to see Leo back in the tables but still no win! The manager was not a happy bunny last night and although we tried to console him with comments of how close we are getting to these big teams he still needs the wins. And so there was no recreation time for the team or electricity last night. Has anyone else noticed how well the youngsters are playing though? Its almost as if they know we have their teddy bears held to ransom for next weeks win.
Over and out raven fans
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